the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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