I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I intend to get homeless drunk
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
