it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
