Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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