he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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