Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Boobs speak an international language.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
