piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
