i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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