there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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