if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
