yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
accomplished twins. life is a go
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
