There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
