If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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