Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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