He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
