I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
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