Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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