her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
