Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
