and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
