are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
