You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
