Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Randomize
