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YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
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