remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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