i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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