I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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