Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
