names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
