I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
accomplished twins. life is a go
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
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