Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
it hurts more in the daytime
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
