Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
