HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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