I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
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