You can't special order awesome
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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