Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
