If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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