found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
