The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
