ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
