I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
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I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
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It's shark week go big or go home
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize