I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
