I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
