I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
is wine microwaveable?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
