I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
My vagina just clenched in fear
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
