don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize