I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
