Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
