listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Verdict: uncircumcised.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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