Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
