i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
