i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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