my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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