Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
