I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
