Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
