Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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