everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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