Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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