normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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