I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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