I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
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