Me too!
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
why do cheetos always look like penises
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
