I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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