Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
