then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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