he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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