So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
