he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
